Comments for Jacqueline Otto

Comment on Dating Advice for Conservatives by Brent

Brent — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 18:10:37 +0000

Right, they can “work.” Your point that it matters in proportion to how strongly we hold our convictions is legitimate, I think. Like I said, the difference in disposition is going to most evident in someone who has taken a side after reflection. To the extent that we’ve made a thoughtful decision about our allegiance I maintain that it will matter. Someone who attended the CPAC panel about conservatives and dating probably shouldn’t date a liberal, but someone who registered as a Republican (or whatever) because their parents did shouldn’t be too concerned.

One way or another, agreement about beliefs and values does seem to be an indicator about the longevity of a marriage regardless of a particular political position. But someone’s choice in political allegiance is also an indicator of their worldview to some extent (admittedly, again, inasmuch as they’ve considered them).

To the skeptics, I think children will vindicate me. Watch your friends with differing political persuasions raise their children. They might do it well, or not, regardless of whether they agree politically. But to the extent that they agree about the nature of the world, and their values align (these are two things manifested in our political membership), there will be less conflict and their kids will form a better lens through which they can see the world; It’s hard to impart a solid worldview into your kids if your team doesn’t agree on it. Even though there are certainly exceptions, I think that they are just that: exceptions to a rule.

Comment on Dating Advice for Conservatives by Jacqueline Otto

Jacqueline Otto — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:33:36 +0000

No statist man is raising my kids, either. To people like you and me, our conservative/libertarian convictions define who we are, and we are choosing to not date liberals. But to many people, their political leanings are their “opinions.” Two people who can respect each other’s opinions could absolutely work.

Comment on Dating Advice for Conservatives by Brent

Brent — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:42:32 +0000

Shared values and beliefs seem to me an important part of a successful relationship, at least long term. Ultimately, I want my kids raised by someone who shares my worldview. Not all beliefs are of equal importance, and I agree that disagreement held civilly has to be workable, and can make things more interesting. But in general I think there’s going to be a huge difference in fundamental disposition between someone who has, after reflection, chosen to be liberal vs. libertarian or conservative. There’s a fence between those of us who believe we stand on the shoulders of giants, and those who don’t, right? It’s a divide that goes deeper than supporting individuals (eg Palin or Gore), to our convictions about the very nature of man, what progress looks like, and our ideals in government and society. Watching this work out in the marriages of some close friends leads me to believe that while it may be a “workable” situation (and does have an upside), it isn’t highly desirable.

Besides, to be frank, no statist woman is raising my kids.

Comment on Laffer Curves of Dating by Jason Isaacs

Jason Isaacs — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:27:09 +0000

People tend to rise to level of expectation placed on them. If you expect nothing from another person (“no taxes”), then that may be exactly what you get in the long run. In the short term, a reasonable person will spin his or her wheels trying to make relationship work- but if you don’t communicate expectations, the other person will move on quickly. The opportunity to meet each other’s expectations can never happen if these expectations are not communicated clearly. You will actually be doing the other person a disservice by boring him or her, and not allowing a person to use to his or her talent to relate to others.

Likewise, placing too much burden on the other person (“taxes too high”) will quickly topple the relationship. The tax man who can never be satisfied will be dreaded. If one person feels that he or she can never please the other, soon he or she will stop trying. Resentment will quickly set in because the person feels controlled and unable to freely express the ways he or she is able to relate to another person.

In order for a free market (“prosperous relationship”) to flourish, the right balance of challenge and freedom will be needed. When two people who are similarly matched (in terms I will not attempt to determine for you), they are able to express and serve each other with alacrity. When people know how they can best serve another person, they are free to use their strengths in ways they are comfortable expressing.

Enter the marketplace (“dating world”) with an entrepreneurial drive and a tempered sense of self-centeredness, and allow the invisible hand of relationship chemistry to work. If you know where to look, you will find emerging markets in unexpected places. Happy hunting!

Comment on Two Ten, Net Thirty by J.W. Isaacs

J.W. Isaacs — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:35:39 +0000

To use a sales analogy, I recommend using a “who, what, when” approach to requests and at the end of important interactions, “(I) will (repair the ceiling fan) by (next Monday).” Leaving things open-ended often leaves room for frustration and unresolved conflicts. Knowing “who” will do “what” by “when” will minimize guesswork and allows you to set a realistic time frame for when you can get things done (and time to for the other person to make cookies)!